The Connie Maheswaran Fanclub
by CoreyWW
Summary: (Or: How Connie Became the Most Popular Topic in School After She Pulled a Sword Out of Lion in Front of Literally Everyone) A Spinoff/Sequel to the Lion chapter of Xenopology by Dragon Elexus. A story about Connie's school life, her friends at school, and the pressures of dealing with her newfound fame.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This story was inspired by an extremely well-done fanfic by Dragon Elexus called Xenopology. It's a story of interconnected one-shots of Connie interacting with a different Gem in each chapter. Specifically, this one is based on the Lion chapter.**

 **Even though I've tried to make this story stand on its own, I highly recommend reading Xenopology first as it is an extremely good story and well worth the read. And I'd also like to personally thank CompletelyDifferent for her permission and blessing to write this story. I certainly had a lot of fun with it.**

* * *

"So ..." Peedee said as he sat down next to Connie, placing his lunch tray on the cafeteria table. "You're becoming popular."

Connie looked up from her salad at Peedee. There was a good-natured smirk on his face. Connie raised an eyebrow and snickered.

"Oh, _yeah_..." Connie gestured to the rest of the table, which was empty aside from them. "I'm clearly the life of the party. Yep."

Peedee chuckled.

"You might have a point," Peedee said. "There is the matter of _that_ , though ..."

Peedee nodded his head towards another table in the cafeteria. Connie followed his gaze and saw the table was fully seated by other classmates.

And all of them were _staring_ at Connie.

As soon as Connie made eye contact with one of them (a girl Connie recognized as an _actually_ -popular cheerleader), they all looked away nervously.

Connie glanced around the cafeteria ... and for the first time noticed they were not the only people looking at her. Not _everyone_ in the lunchroom had eyes on her, but quite a few did. And every single one looked away when she caught eyes with them.

Connie blushed.

"O-kay, that's new ..." She sunk lower in her seat. "Oh God, this is uncomfortable."

Peedee's smile dropped.

"Hey, sorry," Peedee said. "I didn't mean to freak you out. I thought you knew already."

"How would I know about this?!" Connie said.

"Well, I mean, ever since you pulled that sword out of Lion, you're all anyone wants to talk about."

Connie blinked.

"Oh ... oh yeah," Connie said. She shook her head. "You know, I had almost forgotten I did that."

Peedee smirked.

"Just another day at the office, huh?" said Peedee.

Connie snorted with laughter. This was why she was glad Peedee went to school with her. He knew Steven, so at least he "got" it.

Peedee picked up a single fry and pointed at Connie with it.

"Now I know that lions and monsters and literally anything Steven does is normal to you and me, but to everyone else, it-" Peedee took a bite of the fry and winced. "Oh wow, that is _awful_. That's just- I'm sad. I'm sad _for_ the person who cooked this fry. And I'm not sure I'll ever recover."

Connie smiled weakly.

"You can have my salad, if you want," Connie said.

Peedee's eyes widened.

"You're my hero," Peedee said.

"All in a day's work, apparently ..."

Connie slid her salad over to Peedee. He pushed his tray towards her, but she had lost her appetite; finding out she was the center of attention made her stomach churn.

"Anyway," Peedee continued as he picked at the salad with his plastic fork, "I know that weird stuff isn't a big deal to you or me, but everyone who doesn't know Steven is under the mistaken impression the world makes some degree of sense."

Connie laughed. She had to admit, listening to Peedee snark was a little calming.

"I guess I can relate," Connie said. "I mean, I didn't always know about all this ..."

"Right," Peedee said. "So when you're going through your normal day and your biggest concern is, you know, if you'll pass a test or if some girl likes you or not ... and then all of a sudden a pink lion shows up out of nowhere and the quiet girl pulls _freaking Excalibur out of its head-_ " Peedee shrugged. "Well, you know, it gives you a few things to talk about."

Peedee stabbed a piece of lettuce and ate it.

"So ... people are talking about me?" Connie said, worry clear in her voice. Even though she believed Peedee and witnessed people gawk at her herself, part of her _still_ couldn't believe it. She wasn't used to people noticing her existence, let alone talking about her.

Peedee stopped chewing, glancing back at Connie.

"Well ... yeah," he said, gulping his food down. He turned to Connie with a nervous smile. "B-but it's nothing bad. Just a little-"

"A little what?!" Connie said, leaning closer to Peedee.

"Just ... _creative_ ," Peedee said.

Connie rubbed her temple and sighed.

"What _exactly_ are people saying?" Connie said.

Peedee took a deep breath.

"Welllll ..."

* * *

 _"Come on, she's definitely a monster hunter or something."_

 _"Monsters? Come on, there's no such thing. I haven't seen a monster my whole life."_

 _"Well, I guess she's freaking GOOD then, huh?! And yes, you have seen a monster before since WE ALL SAW THAT LION!"_

 _"Lions aren't monster, Dan. Be rational."_

 _"Oh yeah, the lion wasn't a monster. Sure. And I'm sure the fact it was pink and it has a Bag of Holding in its skull is just, you know, normal lion behavior."_

 _"Well ... I mean, uh ... come on, there's a lot about lions we don't REALLY know yet, so-"_

* * *

 _"So what kind of bad guys do you think she has?"_

 _"I dunno, vampires?"_

 _"Don't be stupid. Would you fight vampires with a_ sword _? Instead of like ..._ any _of the stuff that's supposed to kill vampires?"_

 _"Makes more sense to me than a wooden stake. I mean, why should the fact its wood matter anyway? If it stabs through the heart, wouldn't it do the same thing?"_

 _"I ... guess that's true ... but why a pink sword though?"_

 _"I dunno. Fashion?"_

* * *

 _"She's gotta be some kind of Chosen One or something."_

 _"Chosen by who though?"_

 _"I dunno ... whatever magical thing that runs the world?"_

 _"Like the Illuminati?"_

 _"No, something_ real _."_

 _"We're talking about_ magic _, I think we don't have any right to be discounting what is and isn't real right now. For all we know all those conspiracy videos on TubeTube were right the whole time!"_

 _"... no. I refuse to believe the world is that stupid."_

 _"Okay ... fair. But at least watch THIS one though. This Keep Beach City Weird guy seems like he knows what's_ really _going on ..."_

* * *

 _"I saw her hanging out with this boy the other day."_

 _"Boy? What's his deal?"_

 _"I dunno. He seemed pretty normal ..."_

 _"He can't JUST be normal if he's hanging out with Maheswaran. Maybe he's like ... I dunno, a wizard or a werewolf or something."_

 _"Nah, he came off as pretty normal to me. Just a sweet, chubby guy. They looked pretty cute together though. I bet Connie saves him from danger all the time."_

 _"Aww, yeah, you're right. Or maybe they're like old childhood friends or something."_

 _"Well, if that's the case, they'll definitely end up together. It's just how these things work, after all."_

 _"Did you take a picture of them? Kinda wondering what that guy looks like."_

 _"Well, no, but I did draw this picture of both of them holding hands together last night ..."_

 _"Lindsey, isn't it kinda weird drawing fan-art of real peop- oh wow, this is actually really good!"_

 _"Thanks! Not to brag, but it's got thirty-four reblogs, so I'm kind of a big deal ..."_

* * *

 _"My sister saw her and her parents eating dinner at that seafood place with a Kaiju four months ago."_

 _"Dude ... man, if you're gonna just make up crap, at least make it SOUND realistic ..."_

* * *

Connie found herself laughing.

"But that last one _actually_ happened though!" Connie said.

Peedee shrugged.

"See, what did I tell you? Nothing bad," Peedee said, taking another bite of salad.

Connie shook her head, still chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

"I can't believe they think I'm the _extraordinary_ one and Steven isn't," Connie said. "That's just ... wow."

Peedee looked over at her, suddenly serious.

"Connie, you're a human who learned how to use a sword to fight monsters," Peedee said. "You _are_ extraordinary."

Connie stared at him, surprised. After a moment, she smiled.

"That's ... a really sweet thing to say, Peedee," Connie said. "Thank you."

Peedee's cheeks turned faintly red.

"Well-" Peedee coughed. "I mean, I'm just stating the facts, that's-"

Nearby, someone in the lunchroom yelled out, "GO TEAM PEEDEE!"

Peedee immediately stood up, glaring in every direction.

"Who said that?" Peedee yelled. " _WHO SAID THAT_?!"

No one answered. They only heard the loud chatter of the lunchroom in response.

Peedee sat down, his brow furrowed.

"God ... shippers, man ..." he muttered.

Connie snorted with laughter. Peedee seemed to have trouble looking in her general direction.

"Are you still blushing?" Connie teased.

"Shut up," Peedee said.

Connie was about to say she was only kidding, but was interrupted by a strange sound echoing through the cafeteria. The background noise of her classmates talking faded as everyone noticed the noise. It started faint but slowly got louder ...

 _It sounds like ... a roar_ , Connie thought.

As soon as the thought entered her head, a pink portal opened in the middle of the cafeteria. Lion leaped through with Steven riding its back, clutching Rose's sheathed sword. Lion hit the ground, skidding to a stop against the tile floor as the portal winked out of existence.

"Whoa whoa _whoa_!" yelled Steven as he toppled over Lion's mane. He landed on the table where Peedee and Connie were seated, still holding the sword.

" _Steven_!" Connie yelled, standing up. She looked down at him, making sure he was alright.

But Steven just looked up and beamed at her.

"Hi Connie!" he said cheerfully. His eyes shifted to Peedee. "Hi Peedee!"

"Yo," Peedee said, not at all surprised by anything that just happened.

"Steven, is everything okay?!" Connie said.

Steven stood up on the table, putting on a serious face.

"The Slinker got out of its bubble!" Steven said loudly.

Connie straightened up. All her prior anxiety melted away as she felt her training take over.

" _Give me the sword,_ " Connie said with an edge to her voice.

Steven handed her Rose's scabbard. Wordlessly, Connie strapped it to her back, making sure the hilt was secured in its sheath.

"Let's go," she said.

Steven smiled and held out his hand to her. She stepped onto the table with Steven. Together they jumped on Lion, who had been calmly licking its paw during their entire conversation. Connie landed on Lion's back, right behind Steven and-

And at this point, Connie noticed that _everyone_ in the cafeteria was staring at her and Steven on Lion.

Connie felt her heart pound, realizing she truly was the center of attention. She looked in the crowd, noticing most of her classmates' mouths were agape. At least three students were filming her on their phones.

She started feeling uncomfortable ... until somewhere, someone yelled out a loud " _Whooo_!"

Several other students joined in. Some clapped. As if opening the floodgates, more students yelled out.

"You go, girl!"

"This is _awesome_!"

"WHOO, GO TEAM STEVEN!"

"Aww yeah, _it's about to go down_!"

"YEAH, go beat some werewolf ass!"

Steven glanced back at Connie, confused.

"Werewolves?" Steven muttered. "What-"

Connie smiled.

"I'll explain later," she said.

Steven grinned as well, looking out at the crowd.

"They really seem to like us though, huh?" Steven said.

Connie chuckled. It was weird. Connie had never had a crowd cheer for her like that before.

It actually felt kinda nice.

"Yeah ... I guess they do," Connie said.

Behind her, she heard Peedee yell out.

"Okay, have fun you kids," he said. "Try not to stay out too late."

Connie turned back to Peedee.

"Bye Peedee," she yelled with a wave.

Peedee nodded towards her.

"Later," he said. "Go team Stevonnie."

Connie smirked back at him.

Lion straightened up, scratching its paw on the floor.

Steven waved at the crowd.

"Okay, bye everyone," Steven said. "I love you!"

Lion roared, its sonic breath opening another bright white portal in front of them, but Connie could hardly hear that over the sound of the crowd going nuts.

 _I could actually get used to this,_ she thought as the rode through the portal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Due to popular demand, this is now an ongoing series.**

 **This chapter is set after Mindful Education.**

* * *

Jeff opened his locker awkwardly with one hand. His right arm was still in a sling from the severe sprain Connie gave him. Fortunately, it hardly hurt anymore as long as he didn't try moving it much.

He pulled out his paper lunch bag and closed the locker ...

Only to notice there were over a dozen kids standing next to him in the hallway. They had appeared out of nowhere and were all staring at him with looks of adoration on their faces.

Jeff's eyes were wide. He dropped the lunch bag at his side. He couldn't remember a time when he'd ever had this much attention.

The crowd remained silent.

Jeff cleared his throat.

"Um ... can I ... help you all?" Jeff asked, his voice shaking.

The crowd seemed taken aback by the question until a blonde girl at the front of the pack spoke.

"Are you Jeff?" she asked.

"Um ... yes?" Jeff said.

The girl's eyes brightened.

"The same Jeff who got flipped by _the Beach City Lioness_ the other day?!"

"Beach City wha-" Jeff shook his head. "You mean Connie?!"

The blonde girl grinned as the entire crowd whipped into a frenzy. Everyone clustered around him within moments, all yelling at once.

"He got beat up by the Lioness and _lived_! Dude must be _badass_!" someone shouted.

"Well, it wasn't exactly beat up-" Jeff tried to reply, but it was drowned out by everyone else.

More people shouted.

"I can't believe she broke your arm! _I'm so jealous_!

"Do you know anything about her boyfriend?!"

"Did she sic the Lion on you?"

"Did she beat you up with her hands or did she use magic?!"

"Connie touched you, I can't believe it, _please go out with me_!"

"How come you're not dead? Are you a vampire?! SOMEONE GET HIS BLOOD AND SEE IF IT JUMPS WHEN YOU PUT HEAT TO IT!"

"That's not vampires! That's _The Thing_ , stupid!"

"You can never be too careful! HE COULD BE BOTH!"

Before Jeff had time to process what people were saying, a cute boy with blonde hair styled like french fries pushed his way through the crowd.

(Jeff hopefully wondered if he was the one who yelled out the date request, but doubted it ...)

The boy put his hands up and walked next to Jeff.

"Alright alright, settle down everyone," he said. "I'm Jeff's agent. Let's keep this orderly ..."

Jeff whispered to the boy.

"'Agent?' What are you-"

The boy's eyes darted to him. He spoke out the corner of his mouth.

"Play along," the boy whispered with a wink.

Jeff tried to ignore the feeling of his cheeks blushing and just nodded.

The fry-haired boy raised his voice.

"Alright everyone, requests to speak to Jeff must be submitted in writing from here on out!" the french-fry boy said. "Please direct all inquiries through our publicist. His name is Lars. You can find him over at the Big Donut downtown and he'd just ... just _love_ to answer any questions you might have."

The crowd raised their collective voice as Peedee yelled over them.

"There will be no further questions at this time!" the fry-haired boy said. "My client has a very important meeting to attend to! Connie is already waiting for him on her Lion out in the parking lot, so-"

The crowd exploded with activity.

"SHE'S IN THE PARKING LOT?!" someone yelled.

"AND SO'S THE LION?!" said someone else.

" _LET'S GO_!"

They all rushed down the hall as quickly as they had appeared. The sound of bodies banging against the lockers on each side of the narrow hallway echoed for just a moment, until they were gone. No one was left but Jeff and his "agent."

The fry boy dusted off his hands and sighed.

"Well, that was easy enough," he said to Jeff.

Jeff looked in the boy's hazel eyes.

"Sooo ... I'm guessing Connie's not in the parking lot, is she?" Jeff asked.

"Nope," the boy said with a sly smile.

Jeff chuckled. He scratched behind his neck with his free hand.

"Wow," Jeff said. "Thank you so much, um ..."

"Peedee," the boy said. He extended his hand.

Jeff stared at it for a second, then shook it. It was hard for Jeff not to feel very, _very_ conscious of how warm and soft Peedee's hand was ...

"So um ..." Jeff asked. "Is that type of thing normal or-?"

"Of course it's not normal," Peedee said, sticking his hands in his pockets. "But neither is anything else around here, so ..."

"Ah," Jeff said, nodding.

Peedee glanced down at the ground next to Jeff.

"Think you dropped this," Peedee said as he picked up Jeff's lunch bag and handed it to him.

"Oh! Right!" Jeff said, taking the bag. "My lunch! T-thank you!"

 _Don't sound awkward,_ Jeff screamed inside his head. _Don't sound awkward._

"Boy," Jeff said, trying to quickly think of something witty, "if I'd have forgotten that I'd ... probably have to ..."

He thought of nothing witty.

"Not ... eat ... I guess?" Jeff finished.

Peedee blinked. Jeff managed a nervous grin, all while wishing that Connie's flip the other day had _killed_ him just to spare him this moment.

But, to Jeff's surprise, Peedee smiled back.

"Well, why don't you come eat that with me and Connie?" Peedee said. "We started eating in the auditorium to avoid ..." Peedee gestured down the hall. "All that."

"Oh um ..." Jeff gave a sweet smile back. "Thanks, Peedee. That'd be really nice."

Peedee started walking down the hall. Jeff followed, excited he had someone to each lunch with who apparently didn't mind what a total dork he was.

"Can't wait to see the look on Connie's face when she hears about her new nickname ..." Peedee said.

* * *

Later that day, Ronaldo got a random text during work at the fry-stand. It was from Lars.

The text read "WHAT DID YOUR STUPID BROTHER SAY? WHY ARE THERE A MILLION KIDS HERE ASKING ABOUT LIONS AND MAGIC CRAP?!" followed by a string of swear words separated by no spaces.

Ronaldo decided not to reply.


	3. Chapter 3

Dante Kahananui clutched his head as he sat at his office desk. He stared at the intercom seated next to his computer monitor and family picture, unwilling to press the button and get this situation over with.

Today Dante regretted being a middle school principal. He'd been on the phone with parents all day and almost every conversation had been exactly the same ...

 _Yes, I'm aware of the video someone posted on TubeTube showing one of our students in our cafeteria carrying a sword and getting on a pink lion._

 _No, it is not a cause for alarm. It's simply a student film._

(It wasn't and Dante knew that, but it was the best excuse he could come up with).

 _Yes, I'm still here. And yes, I'm sure it's a student film. I thought the fact pink lions don't actually exist might have been a giveaway._

(Except the one Dante's son had seen running around with that Steven boy before, but no need to get into all that ...)

 _Not to mention the fact I don't think there's such a thing as a pink metal to make swords out of. Or the fact that a young girl was holding a gigantic sword with one hand which would be rather difficult if it were real ..._

 _No, I have not forgotten about the lion. It's simply one of our other students in a Japanime cosplay for the purposes of the film._

 _Yes, I'm sure it's cosplay._

 _Yes, I'm aware it looks very realistic. We're proud of the ingenuity of our students._

 _No, I don't know what show the lion is supposed to be from._

 _No, I can't make an educated guess. I don't watch cartoons._

 _... no, I don't have a_ problem _with animation exactly, it's just not my thing._

 _... well, frankly, that's not something I feel is necessary to share._

 _... romantic comedy movies mostly. I don't watch a lot of TV anymore, I just pay for Webflix so- I'm sorry, could we get back on topic please?_

 _Yes ... yes, your children are safe here._

 _Yes, I'm absolutely sure._

(Dante was ... probably-almost-kinda sure that was true.)

 _I'm glad I could address your concerns._

 _You're welcome._

Repeat that same conversation roughly a dozen times with only minor variations and that was pretty much Dante's day.

He pulled off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had a splitting headache. His stomach felt sour from having to lie to so many parents in one day.

Dante knew he had to do _something_ to address this situation, but he wasn't sure _what_. At least he had a few moments to collect himself now that the phone had stopped ringing, so-

The phone rang again.

" _Dammit_!" he shouted.

It took him a moment to register it was not his office phone that was ringing, but his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw Martha's face pop up.

He shook his head and answered his phone, silencing the cheerful chime.

" _Hel-_ " Dante cleared his throat, trying to shake the agitation out of his voice. "Hello, honey."

"Hi babe," Martha said over the line.

Dante couldn't help but smile a little, despite his bad mood.

"Everything alright?" Dante said.

Martha sighed.

"Not really," she said. "Laramie came home in a bad mood today."

"Oh," Dante said. "Well that's not ... terribly unusual."

"I know," Martha said sadly. "I mean even worse than normal. Apparently he's been hounded at work lately by kids asking if he was a publicist for some girl."

Dante blinked.

"What?" Dante said.

"Yeah, I know, I don't know what that's about either," Martha said. "They even followed him to his school today. They were asking about lions or something. He was so mad he cut class and came home."

Dante had to stop himself from groaning. Great. Now an issue he did not want to deal with at work was affecting his personal life.

 _Super_.

"I think it was a prank," Martha went on. "One of the kids mentioned the little Fryman boy started it."

That actually made a little sense, Dante thought. He was fairly certain the Maheswaran girl was friends with the younger Fryman. He didn't sound like the pranking type though.

"Poor Laramie ..." said Martha sadly. "I wish he wouldn't get stressed out so easily. It hurts me to see him like that ..."

"Yeah, I'm not sure where he even-" Dante clutched his head from his pounding headache and slowed down as realized what he was saying. "Where he even ... gets that from ..."

Martha paused.

"Are you alright, sweetie?" Martha said.

Dante shook his head. He put on a big smile.

"What? No, I'm fine," Dante insisted. He cleared his throat. "D-don't worry about that. Once I get off work, I'll get it sorted out. I'll call Fryman, I'm sure he'll get it settled."

"Really? Thank you, honey," Martha said.

"No problem," Dante said. It had been a while since Dante and Fryman talked (not since Laramie and Ronaldo had been friends, actually), but Fryman was a reasonable man and was sure he'd reign his boy in. Dante would be nice about approaching the subject though. He didn't want to come down too hard on the Fryman boys ...

After everything with their mom, well ... they'd be through enough already ...

"So what's Laramie doing now?" Dante asked.

"Oh, he stormed out a bit ago. I think he was heading to that girl Sadie's house," Martha said.

"Oh," Dante said.

"They ... seem to be hanging out a lot lately. It's good! Don't get me wrong. She'll probably help calm him down from all this."

"Y-yeah, she seems nice enough."

There was a brief pause.

"Dante," Martha said, "d-do you suppose though we should talk to Laramie about, you know ... _protection_?"

" _Martha_!" Dante exclaimed.

"What? Would you rather he-"

" _No_ , of course not! I just- can we please talk about this later?!"

Dante ignored his headache and tried to take deep breaths to calm his rapid heart-rate. He still had to deal with this Maheswaran business; he could at least wait until he got home to have a heart attack.

"Y-you're right," Martha said. "Sorry ... I just worry. Ugh ... I need to settle my nerves. Think maybe I'll call Vidalia, see what she's doing."

Dante gulped.

"O-oh?" Dante said, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice. "Vidalia, huh?"

Martha's tone got more serious. She groaned.

"Dante," Martha said, "that was over _thirty_ years ago. You and I hadn't even met yet, she and I are just friends now, calm down."

"Pfft, _what_?!" Dante said, faking surprise. "No! No ... no ... I know. I-it's fine. I'm not- trust me, I am not at all worried about that."

Dante was very, very much worried about that.

Martha sighed.

"Well ... good," Martha said. "I'll see you tonight. Love you."

"Love you too, Martha," Dante said, ending the call.

Dante twisted in his chair, his eyes drifting to the picture of his family on his desk. It showed Martha and him holding Laramie when he was a newborn with just a tuff of red hair. He gave a small smile.

 _Alright,_ Dante thought, taking a breath. _Time to start doing your job, Dante. No more messing around._

Dante pressed the button on his intercom.

"Will Connie Maheswaran please report to the principal's office immediately?" Dante said. A moment later, the same message boomed out to the PA system on speakers throughout the school.

* * *

Connie was nervous. She'd never been called to the principal's office. _Ever_.

It wasn't difficult for her to figure out why she was called there. As much as she saw it coming, she had hoped maybe there wouldn't be any consequences.

She stood outside the principal's office and composed herself.

 _Calm down_ , Connie, she told herself. _It's not like this is scarier than dealing with corrupted Gems, after all._

Then Connie wondered if they had called her parents yet.

And suddenly the situation felt _much_ scarier than dealing with corrupted Gems.

She took a breath then knocked on the door.

"Come in," the principal called out..

Connie slowly opened the door to see Mr. Kahananui sitting at his desk.

"Y-you wanted to see me, Mr. Kahananui?" she said.

"Yes," Mr. Kahananui called out. "Please sit down."

Connie came in, shutting the door softly behind her. There was a plastic chair opposite to Mr. Kahananui's desk that she sat in. She put her hands in her lap, trying not to ignore the nausea washing over her.

At the very least Mr. Kahananui didn't seem mad. His expression seemed neutral. Maybe that meant Connie wasn't in much trouble ...

... or that he just didn't care what kind of trouble Connie was in. After all, she didn't know the principal that well.

Mr. Kahananui clasped his hands together as he stared at Connie.

"Ms. Maheswaran," Mr. Kahananui started, "I'm sure you know what this is about already so-"

"Yes," Connie blurted out as her stomach churned. "And I just want to say I'm really sorry I hurt Jeff!"

Mr. Kahananui leaned back.

"Huh?" he said.

"I'm really sorry!" Connie went on, her heart racing, unable to stop. "It was just an accident, I felt so bad when it happened, I already apologized to him and everything! We're friends now and I already told my parents and everything just ... just please don't suspend me!" Connie's voice cracked slightly. "I've never been suspended before, I'm not even sure my parents would know how to handle it, and then it'll be on my permanent record forever and I'll never get into college or graduate school and _then I'll never be able to run for public office_ or-"

Mr. Kahananui's eyes bulged as he put his hands up.

"Whoa whoa, just ... slow down," Mr. Kahananui said. "What are you talking about?"

Connie froze.

"This ... isn't about that?" Connie said.

" _No_!"

"But, then what is this about?"

"What is it ab-" Mr. Kahananui shook his head, dumbfounded. " _You brought a sword and a lion into a public school_!"

Connie considered for a moment.

"Oh ..." Connie said. "Right ... that did happen."

"Thank you _, I am well aware_!" Mr. Kahananui said.

Connie's eyes went wide. As silly as it sound, this was the first time she had truly realized the true gravity of what had happened.

Most of the school saw her holding a _weapon_ and riding a _wild animal_.

Her nausea intensified.

"Oh my gosh," Connie said as the blood drained from her face. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't realize what I was doing. This ..." She covered her face. "God, this is a big deal, isn't it?"

Mr. Kahananui took a breath and, oddly enough, seemed calm.

"Well, it is something I have to address," he said. "I've been dealing with calls from parents all day who'd seen the TubeTube video."

Connie looked up, glaring.

" _There's a TubeTube video now_?!" she said.

"I'm afraid so," Mr. Kahananui said. He adjusted his glasses and turned his chair towards his computer monitor. He clicked his mouse. "In fact, I'll just pull it up here and ... oh, hang on ... an ad."

He settled in his chair.

"There- there's usually a skip button, there isn't one now though ..." he muttered.

"S-sometimes they don't let you," Connie said.

"I see."

Mr. Kahananui thumped his finger on the desk for a moment while Connie shifted awkwardly in her chair .

About thirty second later, Mr. Kahananui leaned forward.

"Al-right, here we go," he said.

He turned the computer monitor towards Connie. She recognized the content of the video immediately. It was the scene from the cafeteria a few weeks ago, when she took the sword from Steven and left with him on Lion's back. They disappeared moments later as Lion charged into its portal.

The video had over thirty thousand views and was titled "BEACH CITY BADASS RIDES A LION INTO TIME PORTAL [ORIGINAL]."

Connie rubbed her temple.

"... for the record, it wasn't a time portal," Connie said. "It was just the regular kind."

"Good to know, but that wasn't the part most parents were concerned about," Mr. Kahananui said.

Connie couldn't believe this was happening.

"Am I ... Am I going to go to jail?" Connie said. "I don't- oh god, I can't believe-"

"Ms. Maheswaran, relax," Mr. Kahananui said calmly, putting his hand up. "I've spent the day very exhaustedly explaining to concerned parents that this was just a student film. And I haven't made this situation a police matter."

Connie straightened up.

"What?" Connie said. "But ... why?!"

Mr. Kahananui adjusted his glasses.

"Well, several reasons," Mr. Kahananui said. "First of all, I think we can agree this situation falls outside normal circumstances. Not everyone in the school necessarily lives in Beach City, but those of us that _do_..." Mr. Kahananui gestured to himself then Connie. "Well ... we know normal rules sometimes get thrown out the window."

Connie blinked.

"How much do you know about, you know ..." Connie struggled. "Magic stuff, sir?"

"I know I had to evacuate my family out of the city when a giant hand dropped out of space and that my son was possessed by your boyfriend for a day. Seems enough to not to be surprised by pink lions."

"Oh, I guess that makes-" Connie blushed. "Wait, _boyfriend_?"

"In any event," Mr. Kahananui continued as if he hadn't heard Connie, "aside from my personal wishes, there are certain ... _instructions_ set in place by our mayor for any event involving 'magic stuff' as you put it."

"Oh? L-like what?"

Mr. Kahananui reached in a desk drawer and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He slid it over to Connie.

"See for yourself," he said.

Connie looked at the paper. It was printed on official stationary from Mayor Dewey, letterhead and all. It was a memo with the subject "INSTRUCTIONS FOR EMERGENCY PROCEDURES REGARDING ANY UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENA IN AND AROUND BEACH CITY."

The actual content of the memo sounded much less formal. It read, in its entirety:

 _Just keep everyone calm and stay out of the magical ladies' way._

 _Really. Just stay out of their way._

 _If you see something dangerous and the magical ladies aren't there, call 911. But honestly, the big one always seems to know when bad stuff is about to happen so usually you don't even have to do that._

 _Thank you._

 _Vote Mayor Dewey._

It ended with Mayor Dewey's signature.

"Were you supposed to show me that?" Connie asked.

"Probably not," Mr. Kahananui said and he put the paper back in his drawer. "But as you can see, I would say this falls under 'unexplained phenomena.' And I wouldn't want to go against an order from the mayor, so I kept everyone calm. And besides all that ... it would be quite a waste to involve the police and jeopardize the future of a great student such as yourself when, from what I can see, there was no malicious intent."

Connie shook her head.

"Wait, so ... I'm not in trouble?" Connie said.

"Right now, no," Mr. Kahananui said. "But it is still important we have a talk ..."

He cleared his throat and thumped his finger on the desk.

"Ms. Maheswaran," he said in a measured tone. "I'm going to do something I rarely do with students and just speak in the most frank manner possible. Would that be alright with you?"

"O-okay."

Mr. Kahananui widened his eyes and raised his voice.

" _You can't just bring swords and lions into school, Connie!_ " he said.

"I know ..." Connie said, shrinking in her chair.

"I know you know but ... Connie, you got very, _very_ lucky no one's kneejerk reaction was to call the police. As annoying as I'm sure all this attention is-"

Mr. Kahananui tapped on his computer monitor at TubeTube video player.

"-having all our students adore you is the best possible end result that could have happened," he said. "It could have been worse. A lot worse."

Connie nodded sadly.

Mr. Kahananui sighed.

"I believe I've done a fair enough job putting out this fire, but if you pull a stunt like this again, you might not be so lucky. And if the police do get involved, and if ... God forbid, if a student gets hurt-"

"I wouldn't let that happen!" Connie blurted out.

"I know, I know. But _if_ someone did ..." Mr. Kahananui leaned back in his chair. "There's only so much I can do to help you, Connie. Please don't put yourself in this position again. Off school grounds, you do what you need to do to protect the Earth from ... aliens? It is aliens, right?"

Connie nodded. Mr. Kahananui gave a short nod in agreement.

"Right. But leave that business out of these halls. At least in terms of bringing weaponry here. And ... _pets_." Mr. Kahananui exhaled. "Are we clear, Ms. Maheswaran?"

Connie nodded silently. Her cheeks were flushed red, too embarrassed to speak.

"Good," Mr. Kahananui said. "You can return to class now."

Connie didn't get up right away. She felt like all the energy had been drained out of her.

"Um ... Ms. Maheswaran?" Mr. Kahananui said.

"I'm sorry," Connie said.

"Come again?"

Connie ran a shaky hand through her hair.

"You're right," she whispered. "I _did_ get lucky. Someone really could have gotten hurt if I wasn't careful, but at the time, I never even thought ..." Connie gave a bitter laugh. "I can't believe I was so stupid."

Mr. Kahananui stared at Connie. He was still for a moment before he got a serious look in his eyes.

"Connie, you're not stupid," Mr. Kahananui said. "You're one of our brightest students. And I truly believe what you are doing outside of school, whatever that entails, is for a good purpose." He groaned. "I know I had to lay down the law pretty hard there, but I hope you understand I do it out of a desire to protect my students and make sure a young lady doesn't do anything to jeopardize the bright future she clearly deserves."

Connie looked up, stunned by his words.

Mr. Kahananui shrugged.

"At least, that's how I feel about it," he said.

"You ... you really mean that?" Connie said.

He nodded.

"I don't lie to students, Ms. Maheswaran. That's the guidance counselor's job."

Connie snorted. She rubbed her eyes and smiled.

"T-thanks, Mr. Kahananui. I really appreciate everything you've done."

To Connie's surprise, Mr. Kahananui smiled as if he had won an award.

"That's ... that's certainly a nice thing to hear," he said. "Thank you."

Connie got up from the chair to exit the office. But as she reached for the doorknob, Mr. Kahananui called out.

"Oh, one more thing," he said. "If you see your friend, the Fryman boy, please tell him not to play anymore jokes at my son's expense."

Connie turned back, bewildered.

"Huh, what are you-"

"He'll know what it means," Mr. Kahananui said, holding up his hand. "Honestly, it's not a big deal. I'm sure my son's already gotten over it ..."

* * *

"Ohhh Laramie~" called out Martha as she walked up the ladder to the attic, holding a brown paper bag. She put on the most cheerful voice she could. "Everything alright?"

When she pulled herself up to the attic floor, Laramie laid on his bed with his face buried in a pillow.

"Go. Away," he said into the pillow, his tone bitter.

Martha frowned.

"Oh ... I'm sorry, Lara-"

"It's Lars," he said, still not lifting his head.

"R-right, Lars," she said. She walked over to his bed. "I had hoped you might feel better after coming back from your friend Sadie's."

Lars paused.

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "It was kinda fun 'til she had to bail."

Martha nodded, wringing the paper bag in her hands.

"Soooo ..." Martha said. "What exactly did you two do?"

"I dunno. Stuff."

"Right ..." Martha lowered her voice. "Right ... ' _stuff_.'"

Martha cleared her throat, then tried to return to the carefree tone she had originally.

"W-well, Lara- Lars, I just ..." Martha coughed. "I was just out at the grocery store with Vidalia annnnd I was thinking of you and I just ... got you some things."

Lars finally raised his head from his pillow to look at Martha. Martha's cheeks hurt from the grin she was forcing.

His eyes drifted to the paper bags.

"Oh ..." Lars reached up for the bag and pulled it down. "Well ... thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome," Martha said. Her heart was pounding in his chest.

Lars opened the paper bag.

"So are these like snacks or-" Then Lars looked inside the bag and immediately dropped it on the floor, recoiling in horror. "What the fu- _ARE THOSE CONDO_ -?!"

"Now Laramie, calm down," Martha said. "I just thought with all the time you're spending with your friend Sadie that you might benefit from some-"

"OH _GOD_!"

"Honestly, it's perfectly natural as long as the proper precautions are-"

" **OH GOD**!" Lars's eyes were bulging as he struggled to put words together. "I'm not- Why would you even- _WHY DID YOU BUY SO MANY_?!"

"Well, I wasn't sure how active you-"

Lars immediately put his hands to his ears and yelled.

" _LA LA LA, NOT LISTENING!_ NOPE! _NOPE_!" he shouted.

"Lars-" Martha called out, but Lars had already sprinted down the ladder, nearly tripping along the way.

Martha stood in the attic as she heard the front door open and slam.

She sighed before picking the brown bag off the floor and placing it on Lars's bed.

It was still better he had them just in case, after all.

* * *

 **Author's Note: The last name for Lars's family, as well as the general inspiration for Martha and Dante's personalities as well as the headcanon for Martha and Vidalia's past relationship, comes with permission from a fanfic called Attic Crawl by my good friend BarracudaHeart. If you enjoyed how Lars's family was written in this chapter, I highly recommend checking out that fic as well since it was a big influence.**


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